Cough drops over candy
We can create memorable moments by meeting a need and expressing care
There is a subtle difference between the feeling that someone has treated you kindly, and the feeling that someone has seen you and cares about you. Of course both are wonderful, and powerful. But I find that helping people feel seen can require some extra thought.
This is The Afterparty, so of course I’m curious about how these feelings come into play after collective events. When considering how to enhance this phase of experience for others, we can start with the basic question: “what will people need?”
Those needs might be social, emotional, intellectual. In case you missed my last post on the post-event blues, let me just say I am all for diving into that complexity. But there can be simple answers in the mix too. Sometimes, people will need a cough drop. (And no, it’s not because you’ve made them sick… I hope.)
Once, while waiting to be let into the stadium before a BTS concert, a fan gave me a cough drop. It was just one of the items in the small baggies that she was handing out as “freebies.” Similar to other fandoms, which each have their own particular style and traditions, freebies are part of ARMY’s gift-giving culture. I have received many freebies over the years: countless stickers and photocards, pieces of candy, a few handmade bracelets. However brief the interaction or small the gesture, it’s always a delightful and warm exchange.
Traditions like this definitely contribute to several outcomes we care about in positive collective experiences, including feelings of belonging. But truthfully, I don’t remember the moments I was given candy and stickers. They’ve become a happy blur. Getting the cough drop, though, was distinctly memorable.
Of course, this ARMY knew we were all about to wreck our throats with a few hours of screaming. She understood what we would need after. And by acknowledging that need, she elevated a fandom practice from a simple act of kindness to one of true caring. Her gift was clever (I laughed as soon as I saw it, no explanation required). It defied expectations while still fitting the culture of the group. And it was ridiculously simple.
Again, our needs after a meaningful experience can be complicated and deeply emotional. That’s definitely the case for devoted fans after the fervor and ecstasy of their favorite artist’s concert. (Citation: me and the rest of the BTS ARMY.) A cough drop doesn't cover all of our needs, but it helps. The following day, in those few minutes as it melted away in my mouth and coated my aching throat, I remembered that a thoughtful person had considered me, and that I wasn’t alone.
Party-starter guide: Transitional needs
Designers can consider:
What participants might need or want as they recover from your event, transition back to their normal lives, and/or experience an afterglow
Whether there is something practical or symbolic you can provide to meet those desires or offer comfort
Whether there are existing practices within your participant community, especially related to ending transitions, indicating how people may already be addressing their own needs; aim to complement and enhance existing culture
Afterparty talk
Have you ever received, or offered, an item during a collective experience (retreat, festival, conference, etc.) that helped ease the transition back to “real life”? What about it was helpful? Was the item intended for that purpose, or incidental?
Party on
Share this post to keep the conversation going.
I love thinking about how our experiences could be eliciting post-ecstatic growth!