The comedown: EDC Las Vegas 2024
Big thoughts and feelings take time to become clear and to settle.
One of the things I need after a big experience is the space to think big thoughts.
It’s not just about reflecting on the significance of a particular experience. But also, all the other things that come into the field of view when you take such a giant step back from the zoomed-in frames of your normal life. What do I value in life? What really matters to me? What am I working towards? What can I contribute to the world? What am I doing? Who am I?
I know my last post was about how all the work that goes into a festival is worth it…
And I undoubtedly still believe that.
Still, if I’m honest, there are moments.
Like around 4 AM, as your 5th day of work on not enough sleep is nearing its close, when you’re just looking for a place to rest your feet and eyes and ears, and you look around at the crowd of people who are sitting and lying down on the thin green turf that covers the asphalt of the Motor Speedway (hopefully in spots free of spilled ketchup and Four Loko), and you can’t help but ask yourself, why are we here?
A man sits next to me at the picnic table. We don’t speak. He eats his slice of pizza by himself, then nods along to the DJ playing on the main stage, the spectacular design of which is almost completely obscured by a fence covered in fake ivy.
A group of friends is sitting on the ground on the other side of the table. They chat calmly amongst themselves. They are pretty young, maybe college students.
I notice some of the fantastical outfits of the people walking by. I like one woman’s large handmade mushroom hat with string lights.
A couple finds a spot to sit down near the fence. There is an unoccupied turf-covered bench nearby but they would rather sit on the ground, like most everyone else. They face each other, wrap their legs around each other, and embrace.
Some people are here to party. Some people are here for the DJ they like. Some people are here to express themselves. Some people are here to spend time with people they care about. Some people are here to escape. Some people are here to be stimulated and to do something new.
For the first time all week, the night is a little chilly. I put up the hood of my sweatshirt. It’s also the first time I’ve had a moment to reflect. I think about my uncle who recently passed away in an accident. A witness heard, in his final semi-conscious moments, his attempt to communicate his love to his family.
I think people are really here for the reasons that sound corny if you say them out loud (so they often don’t). They are here to feel love. They are here to know that they are alive and that they are not alone.
I am here to work. But I realize it’s not such a typical work experience. Many people would not choose what I’ve chosen.
So I am left with the conclusion that I must be here for those same corny reasons too.
Dear Afterpartiers,
I wrote this post two weeks ago, in the days after coming home from Vegas. I could have sent it to you then, but I didn’t feel ready! Now, with a little distance (and a whole other trip that’s already come and gone…), I’m happy to share these big thoughts with you, just as they were and are.
I am still right in the middle of a bunch of travel, and thankfully the disarray hasn’t completely swallowed me up. I am holding it, and also moving through it. More unpacking to come.
How are you doing?
Party on
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